Local is Lekka!!

Ultimate Pick Up Line

Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally we get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. So, for God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.

Words of Wisdom

So the other day I sat here at my desk blogging away like a crazed lunatic thinking to myself, damn! Whats gonna happen when I retire...WTF am I gonna do? Then I realized being retired aint all that boring:

Nuff Said...

Chelski Bashing...

So its time for the weekend so me being the good person I am I thought I would do my civic duty and do a little Chelski Bashing...only because I hate those fcuking russian c*nts!! Sorry, excuse my french but I really beleive I have developed an uncanny "hate" for this team! So without further a due...ENJOY

WANTED: Please help me find these missing girls

Elo All...

I'm about to start posting flyers on every single tree & lightpole in Sandton. In my manic state of depression I've come to the conclusion that most of the celebrities out there have had the chance with me but have just NOT "played their cards right." I mean who the fcuk wants a guy with a surname like PITT???

There is only one girl that I am holding my "celebrity virginity status" for and that is now that mighty fine Jessica Alba!

So instead of me reacting to this situation Ive decided to be the better man and respond to the situation. I'm going for the next best thing...their look a likes!

So if you have seen these ladies please make sure you drop a comment right under this damn post! My sanity depends on it...

I'm gonna give Netstar a call now to see if they can help me find it...or maybe I'll call Tim at Tracker Control...ah WTF!!!

Zuma's Inspirational Advice

A Great Leader and advisor to us all...What was Mbeki thinking when he fired this truly intelligent man!

I rate he should coach Bafana Bafana

ZUMA Found NOT GUILTY

Well will wonders never cease...Jacob Zuma (SA's ex deputy president might I add) has been found NOT GUILTY in the Rape trial. Now I think there could be one or two factual reasons for this absolutely mystifying yet great judgement(excuse my sarcasm). Could it be that half of the freakin SA population was able to sit outside the High Court the whole DAMN day creating a major feeling of uneasiness and intimidation for the judge? Or maybe the judge beleived Zuma warranted his freedom due to embracing the youth of South Africa with truly amazing educational advice. Ofcourse no one on this round ball we walk on knew that if you have a shower after sexual intercourse you stand absolutely no chance of contracting HIV.

Whatever the reason is Zuma will be a pretty happy man...the question is why? And whats worse is the whole country suffers major embarresment yet people think its a great judgement! Can you see the headlines in the papers overseas...something like this I'd imagine!

"South Africa's Corrupt Ex-Deputy President Evades Rape Charge"

Doesnt this just make you "Proudly South African"

The Great Question

So many people reckon they have come up with the greatest question mankind has ever faced. For instance:
Are guests on "The Jerry Springer" show really KGB agents trying to corrupt America's youth? or Why cant I think of good ideas every week, why do I end up writing stuff like this?
Anyway I still reckon I have got the greatest question mankind has ever heard...or in this case seen considering I think this picture gives it a well illustrated approach.
Now tell me...who can answer this?

DIY - Puma T-Shirt

Hoff & The Chuck

The Godfather (PS2)

In a moment of total and utter boredom I decided it was time for a change to my gaming genre, Fifa06 had kept me busy for far too long and I had already noticed that my left thumb has suffered from major wear and tear…kinda like a guy getting circumcised. Anyway, theres like a gazillion games and who the fcuk knows why I chose The Godfather because I can guarantee the old fcuk on the cover was not inspiring at all! While I still don’t know why I took it and while you will never know why I took it I can tell ya I’m freakin glad I did!

Without giving too much away this is pretty much how it begins…

You start off as this snot nose Italian fag caught up in an alley watching his ol geezer getting pumped full of lead. In all your anger and frustration you are ready and rip the guys head off but then you remember you are as scrawny as the fcuking Sherminator in American Pie, so its no contest when the oldest dude in the alley “Don Vito” (The Godfather) holds you back without even using 10% of strength in his wrinkled arthritic hands. He then basically tunes you to chill out man…WTF!!

(This is where the game begins for the player – Customize your face and clothes etc.)

Fast 4ward a couple years and you’ve grown up but still haven’t learnt how to stay out of trouble. So being a mommy’s boy, your mommy goes to the same freakin Godfather that shouldve died the same day they killed your old man. She asks him to help you. With all his arrogance and attitude yet styling mafia voice he sends one of his stooges to sorta become your mentor. This is where you begin all these really cool missions...

(Review - To be continued else I'm gonna spoil it for you guys)

The game has an almost identical style of play as Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. It’s totally more focussed though as there is a background genre, yes that’s right…it’s the Mafia to all you slow thinkers! Set in Italy (duh) with some really cool old school cars and beautiful graphics this game is a gem. Its one to get and is freakin long to finish…I should know considering I’m writing a review for the game and I’m only 31% complete…

Anyway…The Godfather on PS2 gets a:

PPP Rating: 8.8

Joke of da PPP Day

two up da spout blonds sittin knittin jerseys, da 1st blond says i ope mine is a boy coz i ave blue wool. da udda blond says i ope mine is a retard coz i f*cked up da sleeve.

The Beginning...

Ear me now,

Dis is everyone to da westside of "Puff Puff Pass" dats right, everythin yoa mam didnt teach yous is in da house. So stick around as we continue gettin our sh!t sorted... before i go lemme introduce me self! i am da creata and mastermind behind it all...just call me "G"

Me is gonna borrow yous an inside scoop on all da latest sh!t appenin. whetha it be movies, tunes, autos, games, wimin or just da damn greun...you can check it all in da house!

So yous know wot to do, ya on top of dat page yous betta damn bookmark us son. cause we gonna be your numba 1 site before yous get to puff puff & pass dat greun along.

Peace